The Hidden Costs of Unchecked Stress in Leadership
Why the Real Answers Often Lie Within
As a leadership coach, I’ve seen many people struggle with doubt, stress, and insecurity because they lack an inner toolbox to support them. Some individuals struggle to articulate their emotions, establish clear expectations, or provide constructive feedback. Others overwork themselves, struggle to say no, and feel emotionally drained.
It’s easy to think that the answer lies outside ourselves:
If only I had more clarity or fewer tasks… if only my clients or team behaved differently… then I’d be fine.
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What is Delegation in Management and How to do it Effectively?
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But external changes don’t resolve the root of the problem. While circumstances matter, they’re not in our control. What we can influence is our inner world — our thoughts, beliefs, emotions, body, and breath. When we strengthen self-awareness and self-compassion, we can move past self-doubt and frustration — sometimes in a matter of minutes.
When You’re Overwhelmed, Start with Your Breath
Imagine you’re overwhelmed. You find it hard to delegate because you hold high standards and don’t want to burden your team. Perhaps you also rely on praise from your manager, which makes it harder to say no to new work. Now, an urgent assignment lands on your desk — and you feel panic rising.
In that moment, the best thing you can do is pause and breathe — literally.
By slowing and deepening your breath, you send a message to your nervous system that you’re safe and can relax.
Try the 4-7-8 breath:
- Inhale gently through your nose to the count of 4
- Hold your breath for a count of 7
- Exhale slowly through your mouth to the count of 8
- With each breath out, let your body soften. If it feels natural, release with a sound — AAAAAAAH
Shift the Deeper Patterns Behind Your Stress
This breathing technique is a great short-term support. But to create lasting change, you need to understand the patterns behind your emotional reactions.
Is your self-worth tied to how much you achieve?
Do you make other people’s needs more important than your own?
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How I Managed to Free Myself from Stress
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Becoming aware of these mental and emotional habits is the first step toward choosing a more empowered and grounded response.
A Self-Reflection Exercise to Build Inner Awareness
If you’re facing a situation at work or home that’s nagging you, try this guided reflection:
- What’s the situation that nags you or holds you back?
- How does it feel in your body? Notice and accept any tension.
- Lengthen your exhale. Try making your out-breath twice as long as your in-breath. Relax your face, shoulders, and belly.
- What are you saying to yourself in this moment? Are you telling yourself there’s not enough time? That something must change before you can feel at peace?
- Who is narrating that inner dialogue — your wise self, or a reactive part of you?
- Imagine floating above the situation and looking down at yourself. What do you notice from that perspective?
- If you were to rewrite your story in a more empowering way, how would you think or act differently?
Want to Expand Your Inner Toolbox?
If this resonated with you and you’d like to go deeper, check out Susanne Madsen’s book, How to Do the Inner Work.
